Sexism on Reddit
Programmer and self-proclaimed geek Mariya Lysenkova runs Verdage, a consultancy whose offerings include the CMS system Webist. Although happy with her roster of clients, including American Express Publishing and The Economist, she would love to build more websites for woman-owned startups.
Tits or GTFO
sudo make me a sandwich
Go back to the kitchen!
No, that’s not a haiku. Those are some of the comments I’ve come to expect as a girl with an arsenal of geek interests: programming, politics, and of course, silly internet memes. I’m not easily offended. Tits or GTFO. Ha ha ha.
Millions of battered women and I’m still eating mine plain?
Ha…!
Please post a nude pic in the Gone Wild sub-reddit, so we can determine if you are just an ugly angry pig or if you are attractive and therefore have a serious point to be considered.
Umm…ha?
Yet even these increasingly offensive comments are not enough to rattle me. After all, what would the interwebs be without trolls angling for the maximum shock value? Don’t feed the trolls, as they say, and that means ignoring most of the blatant sexist nonsense left in the comments at Reddit.com and other social news sites.
Nor, in the interests of space, will I delve into my experience debating controversial topics: abortion, alleged IQ differences between men and women, appropriate punishments for false rape accusations, transgendered rights, legalization of female toplessness and so on. Suffice to say that my thoughts on these topics have prompted less than enlightened responses.
What really gets to me — I mean really, really annoys me — lies in longer threads, where the topic is too mundane and the exchange too long and nuanced to warrant trolling. That is to say, I’m shocked by what some average Joes think about the average Jane.
Take one hot topic that recently popped up on Reddit, my favorite social news site. The Onion, in typical Onion fashion, published this satirical piece about a girl who torments her lovesick male friend. It’s a funny piece, especially since I’ve been on both sides of the lovelorn friend equation. But boy, what a misogynistic crapstorm ensued on Reddit. If a woman has a platonic friendship with a man, the consensus seemed to say, she is likely manipulating his sexual attraction to her. The comments ranged from “Girls are fucking retarded†to equating coquetry with rape. Never mind that a man might befriend a woman even if he is married, gay, or just not sexually attracted to her. Never mind that a truly unhealthy friendship can be ended by either party at any time. A man out there is not getting laid — and it’s a woman’s fault!
And when women aren’t viciously cock-teasing their friends, they are, of course, busy cheating on their boyfriends, according to some other threads. “If the girl truly cared about her current boyfriend, she wouldn’t maintain contact with her ex†wrote one poster. “Let’s say 5% of women who hang out with their ex’s still sleep with them,†noted another. “I do not like those odds and will not put up with it.†Sure, many couples break up precisely because the “spark is goneâ€, but remain great friends, but why put your new boyfriend through that? Apparently, the insecurities of a woman’s current partner should determine whom she does and doesn’t associate with.
Besides manipulation and philandering, no misogynistic portrait would be complete without greed. “How often have you or your female friends offered to pay for a first date, or even offered to pay your share of a first date?†asked one Redditor. “Would you expect a man to purchase a ridiculously expensive ring for you before marriage? Have you ever considered what it must feel like to be obligated to do something like that? Do you think you would forgo the jewelry or offer to help defray the costs of it?†Never mind that I’m currently cohabiting with my partner in Scandinavia, where couples are expected to split expenses 50/50, and that we have no intention of bringing diamond engagement rings into the equation. Never mind that this is the attitude shared by most of my female friends back in the U.S. No – this is how all women think, everywhere. Period.
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