Even in very sex positive progressive communities, really iffy non consensual incidents right on up to rape do happen.

Yeah, often accompanied by denial that somehow seems even MORE off-putting, because you kind of want to expect better of them.

And again, apologies for the derail. I’ve been having the exact opposite of calling people out and getting heard of late and am a little cranky over it.

I love hearing these stories though – they make me happy. I also now return you all to promoting times things were awesome.

I’m glad Leigh pointed me here.

And this document from the Emergency Services team of Burning Man with advice on what to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted.

It is shocking to realize that rape and sexual assault happens in our treasured Black Rock City, just at it
does in any city in America. B.E.D. is actively working to increase awareness and prevention of sexual
assault crimes at Burning Man. But what if this happens to you, or your friend — What do you do? Where
do you go for help? How do you come to terms with what has happened?

Also,
* http://current.com/1qdnm4c
“Perhaps most disturbing was the fact that deputies were inundated with calls reporting sexual assaults, the sheriff said. Deputies are investigating 11 alleged sexual assaults but have made no arrests, largely because of the difficulty of investigating crimes at Burning Man, Skinner said.”

And last but not least, a somewhat amusing cranky blogger:

“Though not officially a sex party, Venus rules Uranus at Burning Man. The young get laid because they are young and older horny guys can get laid using drugs and booze as a lure. Sometimes their prey will stumble into camp pre-drugged, always a bonus. For many creepy middle-aged guys, Burning Man is a week long frat party where they get their last real shot at nailing women half their age. Lone women are easy prey. The darkness, disguises, anonymous playa nicknames and extreme intoxication that occurs at Burning Man makes it a date rapist’s Disneyland. Of course, if sober and fully consensual sex is your thing, there are several approved swinger and sex-themed camps at Burning Man too.”

If I were there, which I never have been and don’t plan to be, I’m sure I’d be prancing around naked, high as a kite, and I’d be very appreciative of the thought that the Burning Man organizers had put effort into anti-rape education and also support services. Even in very sex positive progressive communities, really iffy non consensual incidents right on up to rape do happen.

Check out this 9th century apology form letter from China,

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/i-was-ready-to-sink-into-earth-with.html

“Yesterday, having drunk too much, I was intoxicated as to pass all bounds; but none of the rude and coarse language I used was uttered in a conscious state. The next morning, after hearing others speak on the subject, I realised what had happened, whereupon I was overwhelmed with confusion and ready to sink into the earth with shame.”

Heh.

Then, one of the other men made this joke: “Go ahead, fall asleep. If you hear someone breathing heavily above you, don’t worry. It’s just me”.

I replied, “Don’t ever make jokes to me like that again.”
He answered, “Yes, you’re right, that was completely inappropriate, I’m so sorry!”

He has also said that my presence in the group has made him less of a misogynist (as in, I’m slowly changing his view of the world)

“Actually, we only know its sex, the gender is still up in the air”

By the gods, that’s brilliant! I have to use that one day. I do so love it when men call each other out, and save me from doing it and getting stressed and upset.