[Trigger warning for use of rape as an analogy for display of dominance]
This is a discussion I just saw in a project/support channel on an IRC server I frequent. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for me to stumble on similar in my travels.
I’m the “elky” in theÂ excerpt, all other identifying factors have been excluded for the purposes of focusing on the event.
* joiner (~joiner@XXXX) has joined #projectchannel<_douchecanoe> show your professionalism and just proof them wrong* pingout has quit (Ping timeout: 276 seconds)<_douchecanoe> write an article that rapes their article* latecomer (~latecomer@XXXX) has joined #projectchannel<_douchecanoe> bystander<joiner> here I am joining #projectchannel and the first thing that strikes me is rape<_douchecanoe> http://<insert a link to an article here><talkingtodouche> why on earth would I want to write an article for them?<bystander> does it output an .xml file?<elky> joiner, :(<_douchecanoe> joiner at least you know that you’re in the right place<_douchecanoe> talkingtodouche not for them<bystander> for epeen<elky> … for being…? worst thing to say.
What happened after this? Business as usual for most of the channel occupants. No apologies. Nothing. Infuriating.
Now, I don’t know “joiner”*. For all I know ze is not a survivor. For all I know joiner is an ally and this is how ze is responding. But for all I know zir comment is a genuine display of anguish and ze needs acknowledgement. Personally I prefer to not risk that the last is true.
What did I do? In the channel, I asked “joiner” if they had come in to address a need before being rudely sidelined, and when they replied happily they were compiling, I joked by exclaiming “swordfight!” and let them know I was making sure they were OK hence letting them know I am approachable.
What would you have done?
(* Not real nick. None of the nicks in the log are the real nick involved, except for my own.)
Comment note: I’m not looking for cookies, they are off-topic for this thread. Please focus discussion on how you may have approached the situation, or, if you are a marginalised person, how you personally would appreciate someone responding in a similar situation.