The Geek Social Fallacies of Sex.

I love geek sex.  I love the way we’re endlessly willing to rethink and improve and break stereotypes about sex.  But we gotta stop buying into this crap.  We’re geeks; we oughta be smarter than that.

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13 comments on this post.
  1. Jessica:

    I absolutely loved this post!
    I think that the idea that sex can be simple is a really dangerous one that many geeks, or just independent thinkers in general, seem to hold. Maybe its an idea that you have to test out yourself. I know I did and found pretty quickly that sex is completely complicated, but I think putting the reality of it out there will at the very least help you to test out the idea in a more informed way.

    [Moderator: Jessica's signature has been removed]

  2. QoB:

    Applause! Love it.

  3. MadGastronomer:

    Good post.

    Just a heads-up, though, the italics seem to have run amok.

  4. Mary:

    Thanks, fixed, on preview I didn’t catch it because it seems Firefox automatically fixes double em tags that are closed with only one em tag.

  5. Cindy Gallop:

    I love this post. Applicable way beyond geeks.

    [Moderator: Cindy's signature has been removed]

  6. Kaonashi:

    I personally appreciate the idea that sex should be simple and fun, but I’ve long since realized that’s it’s just an ideal — one you have to work hard to get close to, and “close” is as close you can ever hope get to it. It certainly won’t come true by pretending it’s naturally simple without any effort, emotion or communication.

  7. EkEkAz:

    Addendum: it makes me uncomfortable that the word ‘weird’ was chosen to describe things that I would describe as ‘maladaptive’ or ‘toxic’ or ‘abusive’. As a weird person who doesn’t desire any of those other things, I feel kind of… aimed at?

  8. Madfishmonger:

    This is brilliantly written, you really hit the nail on the head. I was once part of a goth/gamer group whose ruin started when the fetish geeks showed up and started making everything about sex an ISSUE. They brought the idea of “being sexually enlightened means you have no boundaries at all”, which is really silly and got a lot of people upset and hurt because their boundaries got pushed (myself included).

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  10. Ju:

    Holly Pervocracy: I think I love you. (it’s love that is awesome blog post shaped, just so you know).

    Thank you for writing this :)

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  12. Linda:

    “…But the solution is never ‘that is an incorrect emotion, please stop experiencing it.’…”

    That’s also never the solution in childrearing and never the solution in being the parent of an adult (my mother has used alomst that same line on me far too often :( ).

  13. julian:

    The weirder your sex, the more enlightened you are.

    The one that’s got me the most annoyed. It oversteps the bounds of trying to legitimize your own sex life/ speak up for the underepresented and crosses over into moralizing. Aside from health concerns (mental and physical) you cannot dictate the sex lives of others.

    If you want to encourage people tp be more comfortable with themselves (which if I were feeling charitable I’d say this was an attempt at) do so by encouraging them to be explorative and willing to try new things. But don’t decide what kind of sex they should be into or denigrate them for not being “broad minded” about sex.

    There’s only one kind of sex everyone should have; the kind between consenting and enthusiastic partners.