You might not think weightlifters and geeks have a huge overlap or much in common, but it turns out that because we both are interested in traditionally non-feminine things, we’re subject to the same ridiculous “OMG, you should stop what you’re doing or people won’t find you attractive!” comments from people who should mind their own businesses.
Weightlifter Zoe Smith writes a great little piece addressing some naysayers that I think will resonate with many readers here: Thanks (but no thanks…):
As Hannah pointed out earlier, we don’t lift weights in order to look hot, especially for the likes of men like that. What makes them think that we even WANT them to find us attractive? If you do, thanks very much, we’re flattered. But if you don’t, why do you really need to voice this opinion in the first place, and what makes you think we actually give a toss that you, personally, do not find us attractive? What do you want us to do? Shall we stop weightlifting, amend our diet in order to completely get rid of our ‘manly’ muscles, and become housewives in the sheer hope that one day you will look more favourably upon us and we might actually have a shot with you?! Cause you are clearly the kindest, most attractive type of man to grace the earth with your presence.
Oh but wait, you aren’t. This may be shocking to you, but we actually would rather be attractive to people who aren’t closed-minded and ignorant. Crazy, eh?! We, as any women with an ounce of self-confidence would, prefer our men to be confident enough in themselves to not feel emasculated by the fact that we aren’t weak and feeble.
Next time I need an example of a strong woman, I’m going to think of Zoe Smith!
(Note: Sorry, this was put together before the olympics and then not scheduled to go up for some reason, so it’s a bit past topical but I thought folk might enjoy the quote even if it is late.)
Now this post is just depressing:
I attended OSCON for the first time last year, and had some experiences that almost completely turned me off of the idea of attending this year. I was criticized to my face for wearing low necklines and skirts of a short-yet-modest length, and told that I was “sexualizing” the conference through my attire. I was lambasted for my honest answer (“I’m here with my boyfriend.”) when I was asked about my reasoning for attending, and even told that I should lie about why I was attending OSCON instead of “undermining” the feminist community. I started the conference last year with an eagerness to learn more about open source software, and I left the conference feeling unsure about whether or not I wanted to attend again in 2012.
As is this follow up:
I’d never cut it as a “geek feminist”. There are just too many rules I might want to break.
Besides, some people only consider me to be a woman “near tech” instead of a woman “in tech”. Apparently I’m a Carrie Bradshaw because I write about tech, which is probably why I’ve kept mostly silent on the topic of “geek feminism”.
The problem is that there are some really nice women and girls who are getting hurt by some members of a movement that is meant to be helpful.
Neither of these are my experiences, but I can definitely imagine this happening, and it really irritates me that it’s happening under this banner. Like anyone needs any more reasons to feel impostor syndrome.
I’ve been meaning to put together a post ways to let other people enjoy stuff that’s problematic and not being a jerky social justice warrior… but this is much worse than what I’d been seeing. Go read both posts: The Dark Side of Geek Feminism and Why I’m not a “Geek Feminist”.
If you’re doing this, cut it out.
If you see someone doing this, ask them to cut it out.
The idea with geek feminism here was to support women with geeky interests. Going out of your way to judge and bother other women doesn’t really help anyone, and certainly isn’t going to help interest anyone in further geekery. Fundamentally, you’re being as bad as the jerk who goes around declaring that some geek women aren’t geeky, and no one needs more of those dudes of any stripe. Calling people out has its place, but it’s not in the face of people who just aren’t geeky enough for thou. There’s a difference between hoping to see better representation of women at different levels of geekery on panels and in high profile spaces and just being a dick to attendees. Watch that you don’t cross that line.
Updates August 1–2: roundup of discussion [by Mary]
Note that some of these links may be triggery or upsetting, especially the Reddit threads. Additional discussion includes:
Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing – Baltimore 2012 poster
Today is the last day for early bird pricing for the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing! It’s not the last day to sign up, but since tickets often sell out, it’s a good idea to get them ASAP anyhow!
This is a large conference filled with technical women, great science, and great fun. It’s a really different experience, going to a technical conference where the vast majority of attendees and speakers are female, and I’ve found that the quality of the talks is often a cut above the other conferences I attend because so many people here really care about communicating their research and their ideas to others. There’s lots of technical tracks, student and educator tracks, as well as career building opportunities and a great job fair where you just know the employers you meet are serious about hiring technical women!
I reminisced here about how I first decided to attend GHC, and this year I’ll be attending for my 4th straight year!
One of the cool things I’m doing this year is that I’ve joined the committee for our Open Source Day Hackathon. I’m going to be mentoring people working on infrastructure for Systers, a large online community for technical women, but there are a whole lot of really fascinating projects running that day. All of them are related to doing social good in the world, and we’re looking for technical help. There will be lots of knowledgeable helpers on hand, so it’s a great day to come out and try your hand at a new project or do your first hackathon! You can get more information about the organizations and sign up for open source day here. We had a lot of fun last year, and I’m looking forwards to this year!
So register for Grace Hopper then register for open source day and I’ll see you there!
So. Darned. Cute.
Picture via Gladys, whose artwork just took up some of my afternoon and I don’t mind a bit!
I should probably compile a post with some of the excellent gender swaps I’ve seen lately, but I know if I wait I might forget, and this is too cute risk forgetting.
So in preparation for a potential future post full of pictures… what’s the cutest gender swap you’ve seen lately?
The line around 3:14 made me laugh, so I’m embedding this video right here:
The Border House blog has a transcript, if you are so inclined.
This is intended as an open thread, where you can talk not only about sexist gamer dudes “who still think that sandwich joke is funny” but also any older stories for which the comments are now closed, or you can bring up new stuff you think we should know about.
For your viewing pleasure, here’s snippets of a couple of comics that were making the rounds:
Kate or Die! distills an argument that we’ve had a thousand times:
That’s just a single panel of a longer piece. View the rest here.
And Catiemonster summarizes what’s been going on over at Feminist Frequency:
And there’s more! With chainsaws! View the rest here.
I’m betting there’s some of you who’ll want to discuss this awful article that starts by claiming that MEN invented the internet. But rather than quote the irritating original article in this post, I’m going to quote part of this rebuttal from Xeni Jardin:
You guys, ladies suck at technology and the New York Times is ON IT.
Radia “Mother of the Internet” Perlman and the ghosts of RADM Grace Hopper, Ada Lovelace and every woman who worked in technology for the past 150 years frown upon you, sir. Women may have been invisible, but the work we did laid the groundwork for more visible advancements now credited to more famous men.
“Men are credited with inventing the internet.” There. Fixed it for you.
I ragequit this article like, 10 times, and couldn’t get past that awful opening line.
Read the rest of the rebuttal on BoingBoing, or read the original article.
So, uh, yeah. Here’s a post so you can have a comment thread on the topic that is moderated by feminists.
Text reads: I AM FEMALE. Fe=Iron, Male=Man. Therefore, I AM IRONMAN.
In honour of the superhero movie season starting up, I give you this image that’s been making the rounds.
This is an open thread, where you can feel free to talk about superheroes, hollywood interpretations thereof, older stories, share extra links, or anything else that’s on your mind.
I’ve played some pretty terrible video games, but this sounds like it may be a candidate for the worst game ever:
And that’s when it hits me, the one brilliant thing about this game: there is something in it for everyone. Everyone who plays it would find something in it that they hate.
Feminists would hate it. “Men’s Rights Activists” would hate it. Parents already hate it. Left-wingers would hate the consumerism and the objectification of women; right-wingers would hate the sexualization of young girls. Economists, as I’ve said above, would be baffled. Grammar enthusiasts would be appalled at its many punctuation and spelling errors. Models would hate that it makes modeling look easier and less cutthroat than it is. Fashion designers and artists would hate it for all the mismatched, misguided styling choices. My father would hate this game and Caryl Churchill would hate this game. Israelis and Palestinians would hate this game. We would all be united by our hatred of this, the most useless, uninteresting, universally offensive game known to humanity.
Read the rest of Mara Wilson’s detailed and funny review here: Top Girl: The Game for Everyone!
This isn’t exactly geek feminist, but we often get asked questions about how to be a better ally, so I thought this was worth sharing. It’s a video of a bunch of men demonstrating ways to respond to street harassment. Within geeky circles, stuff that’s not unlike street harassment does happen at conferences and other gatherings, and it’s worth being prepared.
Not only is this a good collection of lines to have in your head, but their delivery and expressions also help get the message across:
So if you see bad behaviour happening, these are some non-violent ways you can step in and tell someone to cut it out. Sometimes, a clear expression of disgust from other men will make a really big impression, and once one person says something others will chime in and make the offender really look and feel like he’s in the minority. It’s good to have a bunch of lines prepared and practiced so you aren’t left with your mouth gaping open thinking, “did he really just say that? here?” and instead you can launch right into responses like, “I can’t take you anywhere,” “That’s not ok,” “Are you serious?” or “It’s not a compliment.” This video is obviously targeted at male allies, but some of these lines may be useful to others who want to be able to step in.
Remember, the wiki has an article on allies that can always use more links and tips. If you’ve seen any great resources, please mention them in the comments or add them directly to the wiki!